Alright Spirit, God, Source,
whatever you are ~
You got me by the balls. What do you want me to do?
I lost 2 friends over this past week or so. One was lost in translation of misinterpretation/misunderstanding in this cyber age of (non)communication; the other, Death himself has claimed in his unrelenting icy grips, and that incarnation is no more. (Many Blessings, Hemp, on your way to Vallhalla. You will definitely be missed.) 😦
All this on top of an unsightly pile of other woes. (I’ll spare you, dear Reader, of the haunting and daunting details and unnecessary whining.)
And I’m torn up inside….
so torn up inside…
The last few days have been a blurry oblivion: barely functioning as a human being, drudging through weekly chores, and getting wasted to the point of passing out. (Good times! If you’re gonna go crazy, ya might as well enjoy it, right?!! )
Sometimes I woke up and didn’t know where I was for a moment; I was so far gone in prophetic dreams and distant memories. Thank goodness for the relief of waking up and being in a safe place ~ where the loyal dog sleeps at my feet and my favourite chair awaits me outside; moreover, a place where I dare say that I might be cared about. (Okay.. thank you for that, Dear Spirit!)
Realizations and anxiety come crashing back. The voluptuous bed tastes my tears again…
* * *
I SAW that roadrunner on the mountain the other day. Yes, I noticed that beautiful desertous flightless bird, amoungst my emotions and chaotic mind. I deciphered your message: “You are still in the race, muthafucka!!!!!!”
So what would you have me do now, Oh Great Spirit? Please ease up on Ol’ Griff over here for a while. I’ve had enough pain for a bit. I do thank you, though, for provoking me to release that ol’ pressure valve. I know I needed that. *sigh* Gotta move forward. Tomorrow is a new day…
So now what?
Then I dream of parachutes, wanting to fly, and letting the wind take me where it will…