Toxic relationships can come in many forms: not only romantic-type relations, but also co-workers, colleagues, “friends”, and family. (The reason I put friends in quotes is because sometimes you come to find out that they are not really friends at all!)
Toxic relationships can easily be identified if you find yourself: drained and/or exhausted on a regular basis after dealing with certain individuals, the feeling that you have to constantly “walk on eggshells” or defend yourself with someone, you simply want to avoid that person(s). You may feel these symptoms when around drama-addicted, manipulative, and/or antagonistic type folks. Some people just like to start fights and cause trouble: remember ~ no one ever wins in a blame-of-war! It is just perpetual madness going round and round…
Okay, so we got this far as how to identify toxic (and even abusive) relationships! So what do we do about it after our spirit has felt like it has taken a beating and we are down and out?
Here are some helpful tips and suggestions to alleviate some of your suffering and even lift your spirits! (Remember, Healing only happens when you are open to it.) Do whatever best works for you.
1. Release (and set boundaries)
Cut the etheric chords and, depending on the severity of toxicity, get rid of anything and everything that reminds you of the person(s). Sometimes in this day-in-age we still have to encounter the toxic individuals on a regular or semi-regular basis. That is unfortunate. If there is no way to avoid the person(s) completely, make sure you set appropriate boundaries, respectfully.
2. Respect, Love, and Pamper Yourself (Do something nice for yourself!)
You deserve Love and to be treated well, so why not treat yourself to something nice? You deserve it! (Tell yourself you deserve it.) Treating yourself doesn’t have to be super-expensive or break the bank. It could be something simple like a nice bubble bath or curling up with a favourite book or movie. If you want to take it further: have a spa day, get a massage and/or make-over, or acquire a nice jewelry piece or clothing item.
3. Connect with a Support System
Talk to trusted friends, colleagues, and/or counselor. Unfortunately, sometimes toxic relationships can do some serious damage on all levels: Spiritually, Emotionally, Mentally, and Physically; and this can cause one to want to withdraw. While a healthy level of time alone is indeed good for the soul; make sure your time is balanced with loved ones. It’s good to know that there are still people in this world whom you can still trust and have confidence in (“have your back”). Reaching out to those whom you know you can trust can really help to repair damage done. It’s a good sense to know that you are valued as a human being, and consequently, you may even value and appreciate some of your peeps even more now!
4. Do a Burn
Write a letter to the person(s) or list your frustrations, hurt, anger, grief, etc. Burn it. (Safely, of course!) You may even want to start with “I lovingly and willingly release…” (followed by the list). Make sure all ashes are completely out and dispose of them off your property, preferably a place that you do not frequent and at Crossroads.
5. Cleanse/ Purify
Take a sea salt bath or do a shower ritual. Set the intention to neutralize and liberate yourself from any residual negative energy.
6. Take a Nap
Toxic associations can be downright ExHaUsTinG!!! ( to say the least). It can deplete you of energy on many levels. Sometimes we need the escape to dream-time to help recharge.
Spending time reading a beloved book (or other kinds of reading material) can be enormously therapeutic. Not only does it provide your mind with a distraction (so that you’re not dwelling on the scenarios and whomever you are trying to release) but it also can potentially expand your mind! Reading can remind you that there are other and probably more important things to think about.
8. Take a Class/Learn Something New
This helps to expand your mind and it also surrounds you with new people, potential new friends, and like-minded individuals. It could also potentially pave the way to a new, rewarding, and fulfilling life-path!
9. List/Review Strengths and Accomplishments
Let’s face it, after what you just had to go through, you probably need a critical boost in your self-esteem. Make a list of at least ten strengths and/or accomplishments you’ve made in your life. Give yourself some credit. Value yourself. Review and revise this list often. Ultimately, when you value and appreciate yourself. you are more likely to attract others that value and appreciate you, too.
10. Have Some Fun
Get out and do something fun with friends and do something that’s truly enjoyable! i.e. ~ go dancing, see a movie, take in some live music, get together and chat with friends, etc. Life isn’t meant to be all about misery, sorrow, and work. It needs to be balanced with joy and fun too!
11. Do Positive and Self-Loving Affirmations
Know that your existence here on Earth is unique and worthy, and that you impact others’ lives in positive ways. You deserve Love and respect like anyone else!
12. Diet/ Exercise
Exercise is movement and gets the juices flowing. Eating more and involving healthy choices in your diet replaces toxins with vital nutrients. These 2 activities combined not only physically makes you feel better, but also can help improve your self-esteem and body-image.
13. Drink more water
This actually helps to (literally) flush out toxins stored in your body.
14. Be an Active Member in Community
Seek out like-minded/like-spirited people, become a more active participant and help build a community (in a good way!) Associate with a spiritual company. Get to know neighbours. Partake in bake sales and/or communal events. Volunteer for a local charity, rescue mission, animal care center. You have many possibilities here. Go towards what most resonates with you.
15. Get Creative and Express Yourself
Not everyone can be Rembrandt or Picasso, but that doesn’t mean you can’t express yourself in a creative fashion. Draw, paint, sculpt, sew, write poetry, or even blog. 😉
16. Spend More Time with Pet(s)
Unconditional Love that we receive from animals is very healing. Knowing that pets do not judge or scrutinize over what you may have said or done can really make you feel like you can truly be yourself. What a relief!
17. Make Wish Lists
Make a list of what you want future relationships to look like, how you want to be treated, qualities in individuals you would like to spend time with. (The “relationship” lists can consist of friends and/or lover-type relationships.) This is a great opportunity to turn a “negative” into a “positive”! (i.e. If you don’t want somebody who is a drunk, you can word it like: “I want spend time with someone who is sober.”)
*Bonus round * Make a list of future personal goals to focus on also.
18. Think About What You Have Learned from the Relationship(s)
This one is a pretty important. Reflect and think about: what are the upsetting qualities of the individual(s) in question? Do you have any of these qualities yourself? Be honest. Most often it is what upsets us most about someone else, that is actually a direct reflection of our own “Shadow” side that needs to be acknowledged.
19. Spend More Time in Nature
Reconnecting with beloved Mother Earth, sustainer of all life can be extremely beneficial. Even something as simple as gazing at beautiful flowers, appreciating a grand sunset, or contemplating while watching the stars can create amazingly wonderful energy shifts in the psyche and spirit.
Make some quiet time. Do breathing exercises and oxygenate yourself. This can be anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour or so~ however long your spirit needs. Do this often, especially in times of much anxiety.
21. Incorporate Crystals in Your Life
It is a proven scientific fact that crystals radiate energy! Many people carry crystals on their person and use them for healing purposes. I highly recommend crystals/stones like rose quartz, rhodonite, rhodochrosite, and rhyolite for heart healing, gentle love, and letting go of the past. Tangerine quartz is also good crystal to use, particularly after experiencing traumatic and highly emotive experiences.
22. Rearrange Your Home/Environment /Personal Space (Redecorate)
Boy oh boy, does this get the energy moving in many ways! Out with the old, in with the new! This engages your mind and your physical prowess in a way that can make you feel really good and accomplished. Organize things in your own personal fashion. Buy or create a new art piece and place it somewhere aesthetically pleasing. Make home feel more like home with a new personal flair.
23. Listen to Music
Rocking out to release some angst, crying with the blues, and jammin’ to some sweet tunes can help soothe nerves and discharge built up emotions.
24. Do Something Different
Take a risk and do something completely different that you wouldn’t normally do. Break up the routines and monotony. Mix up that energy!
25. Use Oracle Cards/Get a Reading
Whether you are pulling cards for yourself and/or go to a trusted professional, getting fresh perspectives and/or confirmations can assist you on your journey of spiritual growth and discovering deeper meanings and insights of the situation(s).
26. Forgive and Move On
This is probably the hardest thing to do. Remember: Forgiveness does not always mean forgetting!
First, forgive yourself. Then, forgive the other person(s). Think about what you’ve learned from the experience(s). Know the warning signs. Let go of everything and be ready to move on to the next chapter of your life!
I hope this has helped you out there in cyberland. Remember, though, we are all human, and we are all in this together. May you find peace, love, and harmony.
Would you like to share experiences? Are there any positive and healing tips that have worked for you that you would like to add? Please comment below. 🙂
Love, Light, and Many Blessings,
(aka Lady Sara)