Life, What a trip! We meet people, sometimes engage in closer-type relationships with people. Why? Hopefully to learn something, help each other out, become BETTER people ourselves.
Some folks don’t fully grasp that concept of self-improvement, and necessity for it. Some people don’t think that any adjustments need to ever be made, that they are perfectly fine the way they are; that they need to learn nothing. NOTHING?!?! (Danger, Will Robinson!!!)
It is my humble feeling that we are all on this Earth to learn SOMEthing. We are all teachers, all students. We ALL can improve something about ourselves in SOME arena in our lives. Most often, folks are brought into our lives as a reflection. Often is the case ~ if there’s something we don’t like about that(those) other person(s) (i.e. ~ bad habits, being too critical, jealous, dishonest, gossiper, over-thinking, controlling, possessive, negative, unreliable ~ to name a few…) it is because those are qualities we ourselves possess (and sometimes not truly cognizant of), and deep down do not like about ourselves and/or know needs improvement. And/Or we refuse to face up to these things within ourselves!
It is not always easy to be TRULY honest with ourselves, and face up to hidden issues that could be ultimately ruining our lives. But, it is absolutely necessary for personal/spiritual growth!
Otherwise, we shall keep creating (albeit mostly subconsciously) unhealthy/devastating/abusive relationships, unsavory scenarios, jobs we hate, etc. so on and so forth.
Yes, I myself have been guilty of most, if not all of the above detrimental character traits and experiences. I take responsibility and have chosen DELIBERATELY AND CONSCIOUSLY to make efforts to improve who I am and do my best to become a better person. I am human, and sometimes slip back into old, nasty habits and traits ~ just like anyone else. (No, I am not proud, and even sheepishly admit.) Deep contemplative time, self-reflections, and soul-searching are important to character development and personal/spiritual growth. Yes, I firmly believe that!
We all make mistakes in life. We all can do “bad” things. We all hurt others (either on purpose or accidental). As long as we acknowledge, learn from, make amends and/or apologize when necessary, and MOVE FORWARD ~ THAT is really SOMEthing. I believe this process contributes majorly to human evolution as spiritual beings. I believe our own personal growth contributes to the WHOLE of the human race! It’s up to each individual to take responsibility for his/her own happiness. Bestowing kindness, understanding, and compassion for others going through struggles is also a necessary factor to our development as a whole. (None of this: “Been there, done that!” attitude! It’s horrible and unsupportive. )
Remember: happiness is a choice. Some people actually CHOOSE to remain unhappy and blame everyone/everything else for their personal misery! (Danger! Danger!) If you have chosen to pursue your own happiness and enlightenment and others want to bleed you dry, make a choice to get away from these people, and do it. No, it’s not always so easy, but why should you SHINE any less because someone else is consumed in their own darkness?! (and remember, choosing to stay there). That’s preposterous! 😦
Now we all know life is not always sunshine, lollypops, and kittens. I’m not suggesting that in the least. We all know that life throws us curve balls and challenges (I emphasize the word challenges here). We each make the choice of how to handle these challenges.
Some people take an attitude that Spirit hates us, and just wants us to be miserable and things to always be difficult. (Yes, I have been there, too!)
No. Things don’t happen in life because Spirit hates us: things happen because we have got to learn something. (Sometimes it’s how to accept help, love, and support. Sometimes it’s to learn from mistakes so we don’t do self-destructive/self-sabotaging things again. Sometimes it’s a reflection of our inner qualities we need to address. Sometimes it’s to stand up for ourselves and not allow someone to bully us around. Sometimes it may be something to keep us humble and learn to be more compassionate with others. Sometimes it’s to gain a better sense of value and esteem. Sometimes it’s just simply a need to learn how to LET GO and MOVE ON. Sometimes we just need to learn how to make better choices. Sometimes it’s all of the above and/or more! It’s up to each of us to look within and figure out what the lesson is (and make any appropriate adjustments.)
If we don’t learn, acknowledge, and make appropriate adjustments, we will be doomed to keep repeating the same patterns and scenarios, types of relationships, self-deprecating behaviour, etc until we finally make some conscious choices to STOP doing that, and step up.
If we don’t like the way someone else is treating us, we must ask ourselves: “How am I treating myself?” (Or what’s in my energy that needs healing? What’s the self-dialogue? Or do I just need to learn to empower myself and stand up to this person/these people?) Scenarios: What traps have I fallen into/created for myself? Why am I allowing this to happen/continue to happen? How can I take responsibility? (Then DO it!)
While it’s true that some scenarios may be out of our control, we do control our own reactions. We also must be understanding when multiple perceptions/perspectives are involved. (Easier said than done sometimes, I know. Calmness and communication is key here.) What is the best possible choice to alleviate stress for all involved? Is there a visible possibility to create a win-win situation? Not always… what is the kindest course of action? Let us stop to consider that sometimes the simplest answer may solve some of the most profoundest of complexities…
(written a while back.. actually… just revisited, revised, and posted today! )